What I did in December:Pondered the meaning of the phrase…..meh

So the final month of 2008. I don't know if it was the rush to get as many films into production as possible before the writers strike but for me this has been one the worst years for film since 2001. Two films seen in December 2008 personify the year for me. Hancock and The Day the Earth Stood Still are two huge budget blockbusters in dire need of one writer to direct them to greatness. Sadly they have both turned out to have huge potential but end up as merely….meh, Which is my new favorite description for something average. Somehow its more insulting than just saying something is crap, I love it!

The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian: The first Narnia movie was adequate I would say. You went in expecting the new Lord of The Rings and came out satisfied but not exactly exhilarated. The second movie is more of the same except this time a little better. The focus this time is on the more human characters;the telemarines and their rightful heir to the throne, the titular Prince Caspian played by Ben Barnes. Barnes definitely has something going on akin to Orlando Bloom except he seems to be a better actor, the same however cannot be said for the other male lead. In the first movie the film was majorly let down by the casting of the eldest Pevensie children. Peter and Susan played by William Moseley and Anna Popplewell were far too English drama school to really identify with in the main roles. The younger two kids; Lucy and Edmund were great but the eldest two were so hard to sympathize with as they just were not recognizable children for anyone in the audience who did not go to private school. Now I'm not one to bad mouth our young promising talents, Jude Law sucked when he was employed by children's television and so did Kate Winslet and look where they ended up. Moseley however is the Hayden Christensen of the Narnia movies and in Prince Caspian he is even more wooden and unbelievable than in the first movie. He is out acted by just about everybody on screen,a CGI mouse, Ben Barnes, hell even a tree. Ben Barnes is so good you never get any sense that Peter has the charisma to rival him for leadership of the armies of Narnia. Luckily Anna Popplewell is given very little to do except pout and shoot a few arrows. Despite this the story in this one is much more focused and tighter than the first and the battle scenes are far more impressive. If that's what you are after then the film delivers. If they keep improving like this as they go then Voyage of the Dawn Treader could be something special. Sadly it seems Disney have dumped plans to distribute the next movie and its unclear whether this will still go ahead.  ****

Hancock: Will Smith has sadly followed up the deeply flawed I Am Legend with an equally flawed film. A real shame as you can see from both of these that the material had serious potential but somewhere around the tenth re-write that potential got lost. For the first forty five minutes Hancock is brilliant. Its funny, its action packed and its fairly original, sure we have seen superheroes before but we have never seen Superman in a bad mood. Will Smith plays Hancock as a real drunk asshole similar to the main character from Bad Santa, except this time instead of loathing playing Santa every year, Hancock just loathes himself and pretty much everyone else. Hancock wants to do good and the people look to him to save them, trouble is every time he helps the people it leads to mass carnage and causes offense to the PC police. Jason Bateman plays an idealistic publicist who makes it his personal mission to improve Hancock's image in the public eye. After getting a more conventional costume and foiling a major bank robbery Hancock becomes a hero and then it all goes wrong, for Hancock and the audience. The remaining forty five minutes are a mess of confusing plotlines, character motivation and half assed hints at a clever origin story. We didn't really need this and had they stretched out the first half then we may have had a great film. Sadly because of the second half being so unnecessary and contrived we have a merely good film and another film starring Smith that's a real could' a been a contender. ***

Chocolate: In the early nineties I made some great discoveries, seminal experiences that shaped the man I would become. I'll never forget the first time I viewed Evil Dead 2, Reservoir Dogs or Hard Boiled. After watching Hard Boiled it lead me to discover John Woo's other movies and the heroic bloodshed movies coming out of Hong Kong. Those were simpler times when a great violent movie rented from the video shop would be accompanied by a pizza and bottle of coke and it would be a major evening in my social calendar. A couple of years back a crazy film came out of Thailand by the name of Ong Bak. It starred Tony Jaa doing stunts and fight scenes that you just know killed a few stuntmen during filming. Chocolate is from the same team but it may well be my favorite thing from them so far. The plot begins with a doomed romance between a member of the Thai mafia and a member of the Yakuza. The affair comes to an end and the lady is left pregnant, she is exiled by her mostly transsexual mafia companions and her Yakuza lover returns to Japan. She gives birth to a child with learning difficulties but razor sharp reflexes. As time goes on the mother becomes terminally ill and her child goes to her old mob debts to collect the money. She watches Ong Bak and somehow learns the moves (No I'm not kidding) and then goes and kicks some major ass in order to pay for her mothers medical bills. All this kick assery leads the old cohorts back to her mother and of course major trouble. The final fight scene goes on for around twenty minutes and is one of the most awesome sequences of the year. Especially the scene which all takes place on window sills in a busy street. Wow. Watching Chocolate it truly felt like I was 14 again and gorging on pizza and Pepsi and cheering at every bone cracking kick and elbow. Great stuff.****

The Day the Earth Stood Still: I have a confession to make, I have never seen the original Day the Earth Stood Still. If that makes me some kind of cinematic Judas then so be it. As a result I had no preconceptions about what the remake should or should not be. Whilst I can say that overall I enjoyed it, its far from perfect. The main problem is a really lifeless script with very bad dialogue and unsympathetic characters. Its frustrating because there are about 3 or 4 really good scenes. The scene where Klaatu meets an elderly Chinese alien at a McDonalds for example or when he brings down two helicopters Neo style. If they had spent more of the budget on a couple of re-writes instead of rushing the script to beat the writers strike then this could have been better. Jennifer Connelly and Jaden Smith are poor co leads but its not their fault. Due to being given underwritten characters they have nothing to work with. Come the conclusion and the fact that their characters relationship with each other prevents earths destruction you just don't buy it. Its a real shame as this could have been a really strong blockbuster for Christmas but its just…meh.***

FILM OF THE MONTH: Chocolate

RUNNER UP: The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian