What I did in August: Marveled at Del Toro's monsters, ran like a scared kid and regretted being an X-Phile.

**SPOILER WARNING**

The Spiderwick Chronicles: People are always telling me they like the Harry Potter films because they are dark for something aimed at kids. The best childhood movie experiences were the films we saw that were ever so slightly disturbing for a seven year old, Return to Oz, The Never ending story, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom etc. Although I enjoy the Harry Potter movies, there is something that just does not appeal to me personally about them so I have not been able to appreciate it as a dark kids movie. The only film in recent years that has lived up to this has been the underrated Monster House and perhaps Lemony Snickets a series of unfortunate events, although that film was to in debt to the films of Tim Burton to really stand up on its own. The Spiderwick Chronicles is a great, scary and dark kids movie. I have recently turned thirty and I was on the edge of my seat during certain scenes god knows what a seven year old would think. It starts off like Pans Labyrinth with a troubled child discovering a fairy tale world just beyond accepted reality in the woods around his new home. The first character he meets is a strange schizophrenic like elf creature who is calmed by honey, the character although essentially one of the good guys is scary due to his unpredictability. When it all kicks off and the violent goblins are discovered in the woods and come for the book they need for their evil master, one of the kids is attacked and actually bleeds from being scratched by a goblin. This is unheard of in a PG movie these days and that is why The Spiderwick Chronicles will grow in popularity and be one of those films that kids talk about as the grow up as being a cinematic experience that stands out. I have always though that the trick to making a good kids movie is making sure It does not talk down to children and this got the balance just right, its frightening, tense and hung around a story of a messy divorce which grounds it in reality. The effects are also very good with the final sequence where a giant troll chases the family through their home being a stand out. There are more books in this series which I am not familiar with but I hope they decide to continue this story. If you liked Gremlins and wish they would make a third movie in that series then check this out. ****

The X-Files – I want to believe: In early 1994 The X-Files started showing on Sky One in the UK, this was after Twin Peaks and before Buffy and my young impressionable mind was captivated. I would tell anyone who listened that this was the greatest TV show ever and would record every episode to show anyone who dared wander into my bedroom to let them know that this was going to be huge. Two years later it finally caught on after showing on BBC 2. The best episodes of the X-Files were the monster of the week episodes. The alien conspiracy stuff was good up until after the first movie and then it just became too confusing. The best ones were the episodes like Squeeze and its sequel Tooms, the controversial Texas chainsaw a like Home and the episode with the killer cockroaches. I was elated when I heard the new movie would be a monster of the week type story rather than an alien conspiracy story, I started watching my favorite episodes again in the run up to its release. Then I saw it.

With The X-Files: I want to believe, they have simultaneously brought back the franchise and killed it stone dead never to return. The main problem with the film that everyone seems to agree on is it does not feel like a cinematic movie, the story is really just an average episode from around season 6 shown on a big screen. The first movie ten years ago felt like cinema, you had a big explosion and a building fall down, a trip to the arctic with a huge spaceship and a great sequence with cavemen fighting an alien. Here you have a dull meander around in the snow with a psychic Billy Connolly and some severed limbs. The film feels rushed almost like it was made just to fill a gap in Fox's summer release schedule which was the wrong time to release it. If they had taken an existing script, something like The Relic, Seven or Mimic and then written Mulder and Scully in to it then the results would have been far better and hey it worked for Die Hard 3. The other aspect that is annoying is the fact that Mulder once so committed to the cause of seeking the truth now sits in a house in the middle of nowhere doing nothing but waiting for Scully to come home. There is no will they or won't they? in this relationship anymore, its more a case of they already have….several times. I've been majorly pissed since I saw this movie, I think its one of the biggest disappointments of recent times. Its the worst kind of bad movie rushed and released at the wrong time, a wasted opportunity. **

REC: Remember when satellite TV was analog only? You would get these foreign language channels in German and Spanish that were great for porn on a Saturday night but also had some random stuff on them which when viewed in a certain mindset came across kind of creepy as you really couldn't tell what was being said or going on. Rec feels like turning on the Spanish channel one night and seeing a reality documentary go seriously wrong. It starts off with a TV crew following some firemen around when they get called out to a building downtown. They enter the building and there is some confusion about what has happened, a large woman on the top floor goes berserk and tries to bite people and a disease starts to spread turning people violent. Then the building has a large plastic sheet hung over it and the inhabitants are told they cannot leave. Chaos ensues and if you thought the shaky cam of Blair Witch and Cloverfield was difficult to deal with, imagine that plus subtitles and that's what you have here. So anyway the film is pretty intense with some shocking moments as you would expect from a cross between Blair Witch and 28 days later. In the last twenty minutes we get one of the most downright frightening and scary sequences in recent memory. There is only the cameraman and the reporter left and they stumble into the top apartment where someone has clearly been researching demonic possession which puts a different slant on what you have just seen. Then the lights go out and the night vision is activated, in walks something that looks like Marilyn Manson but skinnier and nude. Trust me its a chilling scene. Along with clowns, night vision sequences should not be allowed in horror films. It will be interesting to see if the US remake Quarantine is as intense as this when it comes out in October. ****

Son of Rambow: Finally a great British movie that isn't a clone of a previous success. Son of Rambow is one of my favorite films of the year and one of its genuine surprises. Set during the early 1980's it follows the friendship between scruffy rich kid Lee Carter and quiet shy Will Proudfoot ,a Jehovah's witness who has lost his dad. These two outcasts bond through their love of the film First Blood and with Lee's brothers video camera they make their own sequel/remake, Son of Rambow. In Stallone's John Rambo character Will finds the father figure he has been missing and in his imagination he sets out to rescue his father from capture and decides to tell this tale on film. The great thing about this movie is first of all the child actors who are great but also the way that its told from Will's perspective. Its hard not to get caught up as the characters mind is blown wide open as he sees his first movie and hears his first pop song. There are so many well written moments of joy and inventiveness in this film that its hard to pick a favorite. Personally my favorite scene possibly of the year is when Will and Lee through their popularity as junior directors gain entrance to the sixth form common room. Its presented as some kind of decadent club with the older kids mixing fizz whiz candy with coke and puking up. This is also where Will hears his first pop song and the reaction is priceless. I really can't recommend this film enough, if you are an avid film and music fan like me then it will remind you why you like all this stuff in the first place. The ending is so feel good it will make you cry and its a reminder that not all Brit flicks have to be like the last one to succeed. *****

Hellboy 2 – The Golden Army: Made for half the budget of the first but looking twice as expensive, Hellboy 2 follows the tradition of comic book sequels being better than the first. Its closer to the tone of Mike Mignola's original comic than the first movie, especially in scenes such as the trip to Ireland and encounter with the creepy Angel of Death. The sheer amount of creatures on display in this is staggering, every five minutes or so there is a prosthetic or make up marvel to look at with only the really large or small creatures being CGI. Guillermo Del Toro's sympathies again lie with his monsters as we are introduced to Prince Nuada who makes a compelling argument for his war on human kind and Hellboy begins to sympathize with his mission. This leads to quite a surprising ending which makes you wonder which direction a third movie could go in. Its also very funny, a sequence where Hellboy and Abe Sapien get hammered and have a sing song is a standout. There is also the introduction of Johann Krauss the ectoplasmic agent sent in to lead the BPRD and Hellboy takes a dislike to him instantly. If there is one complaint about this movie it would be the same leveled at Del Toro's other comic book sequel Blade 2. There is literally so much going on and its so fast moving that you feel like its over before its begun. Luckily there is such a thing as DVD and Blu-Ray and this is one film that will definitely reward repeat viewing's, plus it will come with lots of decent insight as to how they made it all look so cool on so little money. Based on the evidence here Del Toro was exactly the right choice to direct The Hobbit and I cannot wait to see what he comes up with on that huge Peter Jackson money.   ****

FILM OF THE MONTH: SON OF RAMBOW

RUNNER UP: HELLBOY 2 – The Golden Army.