**SPOILER ALERT**

Babylon AD: On a weekend where I could have gone to see The Spirit I chose to rent this along with The Strangers. Babylon A.D was a bad way to start 2009 but I am convinced the widely panned Spirit would have been worse. There has been a lot of publicity about the level of studio interference in this film which ultimately compromised the movie. This is fairly obvious in a few scenes, the most obvious being one where a bunch of parkour experts start running on all fours as Vin Diesel's character chases them. Its never explained why they are on all fours like in that monkey battle at the end in Burtons Planet of the Apes and so you are just left thinking, what? Ultimately if we had still had the longer 2 hour cut I don't think it would have solved the problems. The fact is putting artificial intelligence in babies is a silly idea. Add to this once quality performers like Vin Diesel and Michelle Yeoh playing the ludicrous plot completely straight and you are looking at one solid waste of time. It gets just over one star for me for some nice production design and some cool pyrotechnics. Vin Diesel really needs someone to take the reigns and steer his career back on track at this point.  * 1/2

The Strangers: Things got better with The Strangers, the first old school slasher movie I saw this month. Director Bryan Bertino remembers the two essential ingredients for a horror film to work. 1) Make your leads likeable; Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler are very good here. We get to spend time with them and get a good idea of what their relationship is about. Liv Tyler is playing a hot chick who is quite down to earth and Scott Speedman is the guy who got her but feels he isn't quite good enough for her and can't believe his luck. When he proposes at a friends wedding she turns him down and he is understandably devastated. They go back to the house in the country they are staying at and talk it out. These scenes are very well played and you build empathy with the main characters. Bertino remembers to let his characters breath before the terror begins which is what a lot of modern horror's forget to do. 2) Building tension is not just about gore. When the strangers start to descend upon the house, its not fists through windows or bloody limbs put through the letter box. Its knocks at the door and then running footsteps round the other side. Figures in the distance in pale white masks through the window. In the tensest scene I have scene in a year, the masked leader creeps into the house and stands just behind Liv Tyler in a shot that is held for an unbearable length of time. Of course in the last twenty minutes or so the violence begins which is a little bit of a let down considering the masterful suspense that has come before, still it does not go over the top and is well worth your time.  ****

Eden Lake: Sometimes a film comes along which just slaps you in the face, an experience that you don't necessarily enjoy but leaves you shaken to your very core. I am surprised there has not been more controversy about Eden Lake, its a film that could provoke some kind of class war. First of all some context; In the UK we have a problem with our youth. Blairs nanny state has given birth to a generation of youngsters who have no fear,absent parents and no role models to tell them what is right and what is wrong. Just last week 3 teenagers were sentenced for raping and then burning a disabled teenage girl who was just 15. The most any of them got was 9 years. Its this kind of situation which is causing the massive surge in youth crime with there being practically no consequences and being given a sentence being a badge of honor amongst the young. Every other week now there is a headline where a mild mannered father is beaten/kicked/stabbed to death by a group of teenagers because he tried to stop them from vandalizing his own or another's property. It no longer pays to have any sense of community spirit. Neighborhood watch has become a thing of the past as understandably nobody wants to die. The story in Eden Lake could take place next week, it could of happened already or could be happening right now. A young couple travel out of London into the countryside for a weekend away. They fall into the path of a group of local teenagers who play loud music and jeer at the woman and generally behave pretty obnoxiously. When the man tries to tell the kids that they are out of line and they steal his SUV events escalate out of control. Its not long before the man is tied up with barbed wire as he is stabbed and tortured by the kids as it is filmed on a mobile phone. Things get worse from here and the final act contains three of the most gut wrenching scenes I have ever seen committed to film. At first I was enjoying the film, I liked the way it was building the tension and the characters were well played and true. Then when things start getting worse I found myself getting angrier and angrier until I cheered out loud when a young girl is run over, yes a young girl of 15 or so is mown down by a van and I cheered. It seemed the natural reaction considering what had gone before. Come the ending I felt sick and I felt like not going out for a while or maybe ever again. My girlfriend was despondent for a few days. I applaud the filmmaker for not sugar coating this countries problems but ultimately this was just too close to home to be an enjoyable horror film. An experience certainly, but not one I really want to take again any time soon. ***

The Wrestler: Between elementary school and the year that I watched Evil Dead 2 and Twin Peaks and my world was changed forever, I was really into wrestling. Specifically WWF wrestling now known as WWE. My heroes were people like Bret Hart, Big Boss Man and Randy Savage. Although ultimately wrestling is pantomime I was always intrigued by what went on backstage and what these guys put themselves through. Later on the Big Boss Man died of a heart attack, Bret Hart had a stroke and his brother died in the ring after a stunt gone wrong. Documentaries like Beyond The Mat and Wrestling with Shadows confirmed that there was a lot more going on than mere theatrics. Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler is an incredible movie. The story is simple. Randy 'The Ram' Robinson is a washed up old pro whose past exploits and steroid abuse are taking a toll. Randy lives in a trailer and wrestles on the underground circuit and local gyms for a few dollars and works in a supermarket to make ends meet. He pines after a stripper (played by Marisa Tomei who is getting better with age) who is just as over the hill as he is and she just sees him as a customer. The opening few scenes are all shot handheld with the camera mostly behind Randy as he goes about his life. After he has a heart attack in the changing room after a brutal hardcore match he decides to get his life in gear and re-unite with his estranged daughter. This could have been so corny but luckily its moving without being overly sentimental and a lot of this is down to Mickey Rourke. Believe the hype folks, Rourke is phenomenal in this movie, he is on screen in every scene and is more then deserving of that Oscar nomination. Staring through his battered visage he plays a deeply flawed human being who had it and lost it and has paid a huge price for his career. Now a lot of people have said that the ending of this film was really depressing but honestly I didn't think it was. I found the ending to ultimately be a triumphant one, he never gave up and if he did not survive beyond the last match then he dies doing what he lived for and what is sad about that? This is the best film of 2009 so far. Strangely Rourke has decided not to come back as Marv in Sin City 2 but wants to wrestle Chris Jericho at the next Wrestlemania. No! Don't do it! *****

The Fall: I'm really glad I have a massive television. When I miss films like The Fall in the cinema I get to recreate what the experience would have been like in my living room. The Fall is absolutely beautiful to look at. Director Tarsem Singh made the J-Lo sci fi oddity; The Cell about 8 years ago and although it was amazing visually, the script just was not there. With The Fall he has used existing locations to tell the story of a crippled troubled stuntman in the 1920's who tells a child a fantastical story. Through the child's mind we see the story play out in all its gorgeous detail. Its hard to believe that these places exist on planet earth but there they are, a blue city, a strange maze and a red and yellow desert. As the story progresses we are given subtle hints and clues as to what the imaginary story is really about and the narrator's actual intentions. The climax is very moving and the central performances by Lee Pace (him off Pushing Daisies) and the child Catinca Utaru are very strong which is lucky because the whole film would have fallen apart if we hadn't believed in them. Tarsem's next film is something entitled War of the Gods but whoever is responsible for the Clash of the Titans remake should give him a call. Just imagine how that could look. ****

The Chaser: Its been pretty quiet on the Korean cinema front since The Host in 2006 but now there seem to be a few quality releases coming our way over the next few months. The Chaser is the first one out of the gate. Along with Memories of Murder its another example of why you should avoid the police in South Korea. According to these films they seem to pin crimes on whoever is walking by and then beat a confession out of them. The plot concerns a pimp whose prostitutes are going missing. Understandably he is a little upset by this as he is losing money and so he goes of in search of the latest one who has vanished, a single mother. It is on his search that he encounters the serial killer responsible for the deaths of his hookers and aids the police in his capture. Once the killer is apprehended the police bungle the questioning and the killer indicates that his last victim, the single mother could still be alive. The pimp then faces a race against time trying to find the woman along with her young daughter as the police bungle the case to the point where the killer is set free. Its not quite Oldboy but The Chaser is dark,thrilling and brutal enough to warrant a remake from the US. There are some great set pieces and the film is paced very well with a genuine race against time feel. What's that you say? Leonardo Di Caprio has the rights? Seek this movie out now so that you can say 'Its not as good as the original' in 2011 when the US version comes out. ****

My Bloody Valentine 3-D: First a little moan. It makes no sense how this was on at one cinema near me for two evening showings when the distinctly uncommercial The Wrestler was on everywhere. I give up trying to understand the distribution strategies in this country. So I had to trek to the Odeon in Uxbridge to see this. The Odeon or Odious is the worst cinema in Middlesex. The customers make the urchins in Eden Lake look like the little rascals and you can't sit where you like, you are assigned a seat, usually starting at the back first. To top it all off they have decided that being in 3D warrants an extra £2 per ticket which I don't remember any other cinema chain doing when Beowulf came out. I know they have had to retro fit a load of screens in preparation for Avatar's greatness but that movie is going to make billions so its not necessary. So in we trot to the theatre and lo and behold although there are only twenty people in the room we are all lumped together in three rows. I am sat right next to four young women who talk at the top of their voices and a kid keeps kicking the back of my chair. I can see several mobile phones going off in the darkness and hear the words ' Hello, I'm in the cinema innit' . I brace myself for a miserable viewing experience. But you know what? this was the perfect way to enjoy My Bloody Valentine. The women all screamed and laughed and reacted at the right moments as did the rest of the audience. This like Severance or Doomsday its the perfect audience movie.  Now I have never seen the 1981 original but this movie was so unapologetically old school it made me want to seek it out along with all the other old school slasher's I missed first time round. Its genuinely a fun thrill ride and probably would have been just as good without the 3D. The plot concerns a killer who struck on Valentines day and massacred a hospital ward, he was buried alive in the local mine and ten years later, the young owner of the local mines returns just as the killings begin again. Yeah its your standard slasher plot but its done so well that you cannot help get into it. The 3D here is awesome, Pickaxes, jawbones and women's naughty bits fly out of the screen at you and the images seem to have a really great depth almost like you are looking out of a window. They really thought about what they were doing with the shots they chose in this movie and as such its an experience I cannot recommend highly enough in the cinema. You just have to find somewhere to watch it first. ****

FILM OF THE MONTH: The Wrestler

RUNNER UP: My Bloody Valentine 3-D