GRINDHOUSE: DIY

When Grindhouse, the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez double feature was released in the states in April it tanked. This means that here in the UK and the rest of the world we will be denied the 3 hour sleaze and gore extravaganza we were so looking forward to. Instead the films will be released separately with extra footage spliced back in (Death Proof is released here September 21st and Planet Terror is still to be confirmed).

Now I've never been to an authentic Grindhouse like they had back in the day and have never seen any of the movies from the period apart from some Bruce Lee and Blaxploitation films. I've been to a horror movie festival so I am familiar with the sensation of watching these movies back to back and I have to say I loved it. So disappointed have I been that we are being denied the Grindhouse cinematic experience (Not even on Region 1 DVD) that I have been trying to re-create the experience in my living room over the past few Sundays by picking double bills of exploitation/cult fare that I have seen. I have to admit its yielded mixed results. Below are a few of the double-bill combinations I have tried and recommend. Others on this list I have not tried as I don't own the movie or its not currently available, I can only dream at this stage….. If you really want to enhance the experience then find some old trailers from Youtube or Veoh and watch them between these movies. Some of these also work better with beer…….. or erm…… other stimulants…… so maybe mix it up a bit and invite some pals round to indulge in cinema extremis with you. Also if you can find these films on VHS that's probably the way to go as DVD seems a bit too pristine to mimic the bad quality prints that you would get in an authentic grindhouse.

Switchblade Romance (AKA Haute Tension 2003) & Ichi the Killer (2001)

Probably the two most extreme and hardcore films on this list. Switchblade Romance is a film from french director Alexandre Aja which I first saw at Frightfest in 2004 and have been scarred ever since. Decapitations by drawer units, necrophilia with a severed head, throat slicing's , a six year old killed by a shotgun and a beating with a bar wrapped in barbed wire. All these delights come before the climatic meltdown with a circular saw. By the time this scene comes around you have grown numb to the carnage and feel like your eyes need a good wash. The film is incredibly suspenseful though, something the french seem to have grown very good at in recent years. This reminds you that before Scream and the pale imitations that followed, it was possible to make a genuinely good slasher movie. Follow up this with Ichi the Killer which apart from Visitor Q is most likely Takashi Miike's most extreme film. Basically when a film begins with the title appearing in a pool of semen you know its just going to get worse from there. Ichi the Killer is the sort of film that directors like Aja, Eli Roth, Darren Lynn Bousman and James Wan wish they could make within the American system. You may not understand it, you may decide you don't like it but I can guarantee you will never forget it. Just avoid the crisps and dips during these two.

The Toxic Avenger (1985) & Cabin Fever (2003)

Load up on the beer and whatever else floats your boat before these two. The Toxic Avenger is the first Troma film that gained notoriety during the 1980's and they made quite a few sequels as well as a cartoon series. I actually read the Marvel comic before I saw the film and then lo and behold Christmas 1995 rolls around and its on Bravo! I was quite drunk and so were a few of my friends who were round at the time and we sat and watched it and had an absolute blast. Definitely one of the best Christmas's I remember. I heard somewhere that on the DVD there is an alternate ending which just has a donkey with a mop tied to its head running into the sunset! What that means is anybody's guess. Follow up Toxie with Eli Roth's debut feature which admittedly was massively overhyped on release as critics proclaimed Roth 'The Savior of Horror and compared this to Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead. While its nowhere near that good I have come to love the film on DVD as a comedy, just a comedy with lots of blood. Its seriously funny stuff whilst inebriated and the sort of film that wouldn't have been out of place coming from Troma in the 80's. Roth gets better with each film he makes but I really hope he makes an out and out teen sex comedy one day as based on the evidence here it will be something special.

Urotsukidoji:Legend of The Overfiend (1989) & Up! (1976)

Two sexploitation/horror movies now. Both of these I saw before I was 16 and were the things that gave me my first odd feelings about y'know, the opposite sex. Most people saw porn round a mate's house, I saw these two when my parents were out. Urotsukidoji:Legend of The Overfiend is perhaps one of the most infamous Anime released in the UK. During the Anime boom of the early 90's which also saw Akira and Fist of The North Star gain a following, this was released and got The Daily Mail up in arms about the queasy mix of sex and violence. Anime subsequently was dismissed as tentacle porn by people who hadn't even seen any of it. Now the hubbub has died down its actually quite a captivating story just with lots of gore and sex and has a touching boy-meets-girl and boy turns into demon beast story at its heart. I probably saw this far too young, my brother was 9 and was in the room with me when it was on so god knows what he thought! During these blissful Saturday nights when my parents were not around and between wrestling bouts with my brothers, I also saw on Bravo a film called Up! directed by Russ Meyer. At the time I couldn't believe it was allowed on TV as it just seemed so dirty and sordid but it seems quite tame now. On other Saturday's I saw Russ Meyer's other movies but this one was the one that stayed with me. Its cheap and tacky but if you have a thing for well endowed beautiful 70's women in the wilderness, secret Nazi cult's and chainsaw's then this will be like a fetish film for you.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) & The Devils Rejects (2005)

The film that kicked it all off and was denied a video certificate for years by the bbfc, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is still a powerful film. When I eventually watched it in 1999 I was left wondering where all the blood was, but it still left me a bit shell shocked come the finale. The chainsaw is actually only used once on someone and even then its mostly off camera and in the dark. It seems the thing that worried the bbfc for all those years was the raw power of the film. A similar situation also happened with The Exorcist. There is something primal and snuff-movie like about the film which is what the maker's of the 2003 remake forgot as they decided to show the chainsaw in action and have lush cinematography. Once you have watched Leatherface's debut then watch a film it helped inspire. Rob Zombie's The Devil Rejects is set in the 1970's and is heavily in debt to the shocker's of the era. Again its a film that really only has one moment (shown in the poster above) of shocking horror and is more of a redneck family on the run movie. The soundtrack kicks ass and I've always liked the fact that there is no-one to root for in this film. The firefly family are a bunch of twisted murderers and the sheriff who is after them is equally as demented. Great movie and one of the best horror films of the last few years.

Full Contact (1993) & Dobermann (1997)

Two foreign crime flicks now. At the height of his cool heroic-bloodshed period before he sold out, Chow Yun-Fat made Full Contact with director Ringo Lam. It wasn't very well received in Hong Kong as audiences weren't fond of the violence. Personally I love this film, its like a revenge movie with a seriously twisted world view and not many films at the time had homosexual villains who were in love with the hero or femme fatale criminals masturbating in the getaway car during a robbery. Gotta love the bullet-eye-view gun battle in the nightclub as well. Follow this up with another seriously twisted crime pic, Dobermann. Its similar to Full Contact in the way its totally off the wall and messed up. Vincent Cassel plays the titular Dobermann and armed robber who's gang includes his gorgeous deaf girlfriend played by Monica Belluci. a priest and a transsexual. It also stars Tcheky Karyo in one of his most insane villain roles, except here its turned up to 11 as its French and totally unrestrained.

Mad Max (1979) & Freeway (1996)

Two films all about the highway now. You must have seen Mad Max by now. Its the classic post apocalyptic revenge movie that launched Mel Gibson and has that scene at the end where the villain can saw through his own leg or get blown up with his car. It has been ripped off so many times and influenced a whole generation of today's filmmakers. Watching it now it seems so punk and rough that you can see why it appealed to audiences at the time. They actually improved on the first movie with the follow up The Road Warrior but that was much slicker where as the bleak hard edge to this is what makes it great, Damn they need to make another one. Then watch Freeway, Matthew Bright's directorial debut which is a seriously twisted take on little red riding hood with a white trash juvenile delinquent Reese Witherspoon, hunted by Kiefer Sutherland's serial killer in the big bad wolf role. Its one messed up violent movie which hardly anyone seems to have seen and has some of the fruitiest language ever.The follow up Freeway 2: Confessions of a trick baby, is an even darker interpretation of Hansel and Gretel. I'm not sure you can even get these films on DVD anymore so keep an eye out for them on late night TV.

Drive (1997) & Shaolin Soccer (2001)

American kung-fu movies don't get much better than Drive directed by Steve Wang which many fans feel is the greatest American Martial Arts movie ever made. Unbelievably the first time I saw it was on Channel 5, it seems it didn't get much of a push on VHS and fans only discovered it on TV. One year later we were given a decent DVD release with extra footage. The fight scenes in this film are up to the same standard as Hong Kong's best and the film has a great sense of humor. Its cheap for sure but they have made the best of the situation by being inventive, like a fight scene where the main character wears boots on his fists, or where Mark Dacascos and Kadeem Hardison's innocent bystander are handcuffed together as Dacascos fights off the bad guys. Watching this and Brotherhood of the Wolf its hard to believe that Dacascos isn't a bigger star, he never seems to have had the backing that lesser talents like Seagal and Van Damme have had which is a real shame. Shaolin Soccer never really got the push it deserved on international audiences. Stephen Chow only really became known to us through Kung Fu Hustle. Shaolin Soccer is the superior film though and before you get put off its got as much to do with football as Spider-Man has to do with ice-hockey. The soccer in this film is just the catalyst to some laugh out loud slapstick comedy and some great special effects which enhance the kung-fu in the Matrix style football matches. This may well be my favorite Hong Kong film of all time after The Killer, make sure you watch the dubbed into English version for that authentic feeling to your simulated Grindhouse at home.

Nemesis (1993) & Death Trance (2005)

For a double bill of low budget action films which are innovative and make good use of their limited resources you cant go much wrong with these two. Back in the early 90's B-movie producers were trying to launch the next Van Damme with a whole host of straight to VHS action stars like Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Jeff Wincott and Brian Bosworth. Amongst this lot was Olivier Gruner who perhaps resembled Van Damme the most as a one time world kickboxing champion. Nemesis was his best film and possibly the best film directed by prolific B-movie helmer Albert Pyun. The story is heavily cyber-punk with a part cyborg ex-cop now working freelance transporting stolen data and a conspiracy by cyborg's to take over the world, its quite reminiscent of Ghost in the Shell and Johnny Mnemonic just with a ton of action and ace gunfights thrown in. Its seriously cool, I haven't seen it in years but I'm going to try and track down a copy. Then after that keep the adrenaline flowing with Death Trance which I hadn't even heard of until my brother gave me a copy on DVD. The story concerns a warrior played by the infinitely cool Tak Sakaguchi transporting a coffin containing some sort of war goddess through a post apocalyptic environment. Never mind that though just watch in awe as they pull inventive fight sequence after sequence out at you and marvel as the creepiest vampires seen on screen for ages attack our hero. Its an incredibly fun movie, even more alarming is the fact that it was apparently straight to DVD in Japan.

Running Scared (2005) & Killing Zoe (1994)

Sometimes films come along that are completely not what the advertising would have you believe and you either end up incredibly pleased or bitterly disappointed. Running Scared came out in early 2006 and pretty much vanished from cinema's apart from a few late-night screening's. People are a bit dismissive when they see Paul Walker in a crime movie which is their loss as in Running Scared he pulls out all the stops as a man seriously on the edge. The story plays out in an urban setting but uses fairy-tale motifs similar to Freeway as a child runs away from home with a gun that was used to murder a cop. Combined with this strange take on a crime thriller is the fact that the movie is seriously violent. Heads are blown apart by gunfire and someone is tortured by having a hockey puck smacked in their face. Its one of the most violent movies to come out of Hollywood in a while and the language is extremely harsh. The director Wayne Kramer also directed the Oscar nominated film The Cooler, and kudos to him for not taking a safe-follow up option. I can't wait to see what he comes up with next. After that piece of insanity then put in Killing Zoe, Roger Avary's directorial debut from 1994. The story is about a master safe cracker who hooks up with an old friend in Paris and robs a bank on Bastille Day, said friend then turns out to be a drug-crazed loon.I don't remember much about this except that  it was extremely violent had lots of drug-taking and was the first time I saw two men screwing on screen. Its a harsh, raw movie that is very obviously a debut feature but is enjoyable enough as a gonzo thriller.

Ted Bundy (2002) & Perfect Blue (1998)

Matthew Bright again, this time directing the tale of one of the most infamous killer's in history Ted Bundy. This film is harsh and unflinching and really feels quite lurid in places. There is no following of the police investigation, instead we just stay with Bundy as his blood lust increases and he takes more chances with his victims during broad daylight. Bundy is played by Michael Reilly Burke who does an excellent job of portraying the killer who was charming and able to get women to trust him before he killed them. Its one of those films that seems to make no judgement on its subject and is actually funny in places which begs the question of what they were trying to achieve in telling such a story. Perfect Blue is an animated film that is so gripping that half-way through you forget you are watching an animated film. The story concerns a teen pop group whose star member decides to leave and become an actress. As she embarks on her first controversial role as a rape victim,she starts to lose her sanity as she is stalked by an obsessive fan. This could have been done live-action but the fact that its animated gives it an hallucinogenic edge it otherwise would not have had, and its bloody as hell in the final moments. Darren Aronofsky has the live action remake rights to this one and it could be one hell of an interesting film in his hands.

Perdita Durango (1997) & Sympathy For Mr Vengeance (2002)

In David Lynch's Wild at Heart there was a minor character played by Isabella Rosselini called Perdita Durango, here she gets her own story except now she is played by Rose Perez. Based on the novel by Barry Gifford it also stars future Oscar nominee Javier Bardem as Romeo Delarosa, Durango's lover who may or may not be a jackal like demon. Together they kidnap a young couple to be used as a human sacrifice and flee the DEA to Las Vegas transporting some illegal human foetus'. If the story sounds nuts that's because it is. Spanish director Alex De La Silesia makes his English language debut here and doesn't hold back on the sickness. The film has been cut in nearly every territory its been released and its hard to imagine what they cut as the film includes graphic rape and broken bottle murder. A seriously warped crime thriller that is entertaining and full of great offbeat performances. The first in Park Chan Wook's vengeance trilogy is perhaps the most non-commercial of those films. As one of the main protagonist's is a deaf mute the film is almost a silent movie with hardly any dialogue. It matters not though as the stunning imagery and violence tells the story better than any words ever could. Its also darkly funny with a few moments of hilarity that feel like you shouldn't be laughing. Another plus point is that there is no way Hollywood could ever remake it, or could they?

Cube (1998) & My Little Eye (2002)

Two films about being watched by unseen malevolent forces. Cube was the feature debut of Vincenzo Natali who apart from the underrated Cypher has never lived up to the promise shown here. Whilst they were making this they only ever used one set and just re-decorated it each time they had to move rooms within the Cube. The film is very suspenseful and leads your expectations astray as you think that one character is the heroic one and then turns out to be a murderous psycho. There is also violence as faces are melted with acid and people are diced into, erm cubes by razor wire. The film never really gives you an answer as to what is behind the Cube and instead invites you to draw your own conclusions, so if you like neat resolutions you should probably avoid this one. My Little Eye is a satire of the reality television craze with five young people holed up in an isolated house during winter. Their every move is being recorded and they think that they are being broadcast to the masses on the Internet and have become big stars as they compete for a share of one million dollars. Things get creepy towards the last few days and the film gets seriously suspenseful and intense as it feels as though you are watching reality TV that has taken a surreal turn. As all the tension builds suddenly people start to get brutally murdered and the housemates discover the real purpose of what they are doing. If you hate the whole Big Brother phenomenon with its desperate wannabe's then you will love this as you get to see the wannabe's murdered, and there is no holding back. There is something very voyeuristic about the film and the way its filmed and the bleak ending with stay with you for days.

Class of 1999 (1990) & Society (1989)

 We finish with two of the earliest films I saw which truly earned their 18 certificates. Class of 1999 concerns a future (at the time) where America's high-school's are warzone's with rival gangs killing each other on and around the playground. Into this situation come three military cyborg's which are adapted to the classroom as teacher's. That is pretty much all I remember about the story, I haven't seen the movie for years. The rest is just images of extreme violence as the robots malfunction. One scene I remember in particular was one of the cyborg teachers pulling a gang banger through a wall, splitting him in half. Oh and Pam Grier plays one of the cyborg's with a flame thrower for an arm. This is bound to be remade at some point. Another late 80's exploitation film that's screaming for a remake is Brian Yuzna's Society. This is seriously creepy stuff as a teenager discovers that his rich Beverly Hills family might not be who he thinks they are. Then we get one of the craziest, sickest ending's of all time as the rich folk gather in an orgy and are revealed to some kind of mutants as they all stick and squish together. This part features such delights as a man sticking his face through his own arse and then someone being pulled inside out. The make up effects are quite impressive for a film that was obviously low budget. Again I haven't seen it for years but it was on BBC 1 a couple of years back so keep an eye out for it late one night. Hopefully Film 4 will show it during their Saturday night shocks strand at some point.